Thursday, October 25, 2007

Remembrance

We remember the bullets shadowing over us

We remember reusing the dull tipped needles

We remember sleeping in dirty, watery trenches

We remember no change of clothes

We remember the seasickness of the rocking back and forth.

We remember running from the boats to the beach

We remember using men as body armor

We remember them doing all of this for us

7 comments:

Jack Sullivan said...

probaly the best remembrance day poem ive read and i really like the last line.RIGHT ON!!!!!

Zach G. said...

very good peom, I like how you used repeated we remember.

hacked61yanof4u said...

very good poem it takes me right into it. nice sentence but try and use a different word than we at the being of sentences.

lukestein said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
atvguy said...

This poem sounds like you put lots of effort into it. The first line is amazing wow bullets shadowing over us I love it

I think it would sound cool if you added another 2 lines and ended with
"they died for us"
"For our future"

Zach G. said...

I think you should say we remember having no change of clothes instead of "We remember no change of clothes" because it doesn't sound wright. You should remove the "the" in "We remember the seasickness of the rocking back and forth."to We remember the seasickness from rocking back and forth. I really liked the poem otherwise.

ALEX MAHONEY said...

ye brobox